If You Really Want to Hear About It...

In case you're wondering why my blog has been quieter than a scene in an independent movie, lately, it's because I've been spending the last the month-or-so partying like it's senior year of high school - well, the part of senior year that happens before the actual partying (or, and I air-quote, “partying” – because prom was fun and all, but what, no foam machine?) What I’m saying, in my typical “what I’m not actually saying, at all, judging by the fact that just made you click on ‘foam parties’ for no real reason” fashion, is that it's…college application time!

And yeah, well...I'm late for most things that aren't the movies. But here’s the thing about the last two years – they’ve been quick, and long, and good, and really confusing, all at the same time, in an “Ack, I hope I don’t run into anyone from high school, because they’re going to ask what I’ve been up to, and I’ll make a stupid joke, but they’ll be like, ‘Ha, yeah, but…really,’ and then what the heck do I tell them? ” kind of way. Because, mostly: I don’t know what I’m doing but…I know what I’m doing. I mean, the past two years don’t make for the most exciting story, but, all screw-ups considered, they’ve still felt mostly right. Sure, up until now, I’ve been able to relate to post-graduation Xander more than I’d really hoped, and Weezer’s “The Good Life” kind of took on new meaning, but…despite things working out weirder than I wanted them to, I still think they have been working out. So my point is, remember when I promised not to fill this “journal” up with pages of feeling-sorry-for-myself? Well, that's actually been pretty easy, because…I don’t. And since I'm not real good at talking about this stuff out loud, I figured I'd get it out here. And I’m glad I did, because now when I run into you, we can skip all the, “Well, it’s just, lately I’ve been, um…” and go right to talking about how my hair isn’t as pointy as it used to be.

Oh, and more specifically, this week is Application Essaypalooza, which mostly means my head hurts from trying to "be myself," but not the self that would laugh in the face, and then proceed to punch, whoever made up these stupid questions, like: “You've just been elected leader of a new nation, what are you going to do?” Um, a terrible, awful, no-good, very bad job. “Outline your platform or manifesto.” We’ll save the whales, and then Arrested Development (if by “and then,” you mean “but first”), and outlaw talking on your cell-phone while paying for things. “Who will you appoint as your advisors, and why?” Off the top of my head – Jon Stewart, who would fill the role of Vice President, Summer from The OC, who would fill the role of best friend/will-they-or-won’t-they love interest, and that guy on Letterman who juggled while riding a unicycle on a treadmill, who would fill the role of being awesome. Oh, and Gandhi, because I think I’m supposed to say him, and besides, it’s not like he would take up that much space. “What will you value as a society?” Money. Lots and lots of money. And also the Muppets. And…that one down!

Well, that went places I didn’t expect it to. Sorry – I promise, the next entry will feature 75% less introspection and more references to bad reality shows. Because I know you'd expect nothing less.