How I Spent My College Orientation

Dinner at 11:30 PM? Check. A new package of pens, all of which I plan to misplace by next week? Check. Passing on my first invitation to a frat party in favor of walking around campus alone and then watching Simpsons DVDs in my room?

Well, check, but maybe that last one applies to nobody but myself (if for no other reason then that everybody but myself seems to have already found a way to travel two-by-two, like, now I know how that one unicorn felt when he was watching everyone else get on the ark. Wait, what?) Anyway, the point is: College? You bet I made it.

That’s right, after three years of telling people that, no, really, I’m gonna go, this time!, I can finally label myself as a survivor of college orientation, which means that I’ll finally have something new to write about (and hopefully get better at doing so), that, okay fine, I’ll sign up at Facebook, but, more than anything, it means that I’ve spent so much time, this week, participating in ice breakers, that a circle, saying my name (“Matt”), where I’m from (“New Jersey”) and one interesting fact about myself (“and I cried during Lilo & Stich…”) pretty much feels like my natural habitat.

And it’s a weird thing, being stuck knee-deep in the highest concentration of people-you-don’t-know since probably kindergarten. And not in an “Oh no, what if I don’t make friends, who will I talk to, who will I sit with in the cafeteria, what if people think I’m weird because of my third eye???” kind of way, either. Actually, it’s more of a “Listen, I’m all for meeting new people, and, yeah, we’re all going to be in the general vicinity of each other, for the next four years, but I can’t possibly remember the names of all of the people I’ve been introduced to, this week, let alone be B.F.F.s forever and ever, so how about we hold off on the matching tattoos, for the moment and see how the next few weeks go?” Um, where was I? Oh, right: kind of way.

Also weird is that some of those people might, actually, eventually be reading this, in which case: Just kidding, you guys! B.F.F.s forever! I just meant that…that’s going to be a lot of friendship bracelets to make, that’s all! Oh man, you guys, friend me, call me, text me about tonight!

So, anyway: I’m here, summer’s over, which hopefully means that I’ll be doing up this blog again, just like in the old days. And the two of you that still care can finally sleep easy.

Background Noise: The Shins! Who I went to see, this week, which, aside from the whole “night of a thousand hipsters” vibe, was so awesome that I didn’t even realize I that was standing for, like, three hours, inhaling so much secondhand smoke that I won’t surprised I actually turn into a cartoon camel wearing sunglasses, by the end of the week (whoa…dated reference). Good times.