GOOOOOAAAL! Wait, right? Okay, thought so.
Alright, three guesses as to what I’m doing while I write this, winner gets his or her choice of a hug or a handshake (no questions asked). Quilting with friends? Aw, sorry, caught me on the wrong day. Making sure that there’ll be a little less Ozone layer to go around, by the time my kid is president? Well, yeah, but it’s not my fault Dunkin’ Donuts uses Styrofoam cups, so try to keep yourself from the “post a comment” button, Al Gore. Wait, what’s that you say? Watching the soccer match? Well, then, pick up your jaw and step up for your hug, because, yep: I’ve got me a case of World Cup fever!
Okay, so maybe it’s less “World Cup fever” as it is, say, a World Cup cough, but that still ranks higher than your average “World Cup allergic reaction to pollen” or “World Cup post-nasal drip” (although, on my Big List of Everything Ever, anything that involves the word “nasal” ranks bottom, so…) And, while it’s true that I’ve latched onto what is probably my country’s third most ridiculed sport (right after hockey and the Double Dare obstacle course), the point is, it’s an achievement on any level that I’m actually sitting down to watch a sport that’s not organized into single and double Jeopardies.
And not only that – I’ve been paying attention! I Tivo games! (Who knew that instant-replay button was good for something other than every time Coral falls on her face on The Real World/Road Rules Challenge, which, by the way, will never be often enough.) I make sounds at the TV! (“Ooh!” “Come on!” “Enough with the stupid Gecko, Geico, you’re better than that!” Because, you know…commercials.) You guys, just now? I got mad at a ref! I’ve, I’ve…never felt this way about a referee, before. (Seriously, though, penalty kick, what?) Oh, and last Saturday, I was this close to using the phrase, “One second! The game’s on…” It was, in a word: Exhilarating. And, in 24 words: The closest I’ve felt to being a Regular Guy since that time I didn’t really get How to Lose a Guy In 10 Days.
And…judging by the score of the game, my team needs me, so if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go paint a flag on my chest, drape another one over my shoulders, and run around town screaming blasphemies against Ghana – I’ll run into you, I’m sure. USA! USA! US…eh…
Background Noise: Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day” – yeah, the one that became “the American Idol song,” because time is running out quick, as I reach the end of this, and I’m at least hoping they’ll do a highlight reel with this playing in the background, while all the American players cry in the bottom left corner. Because that's how sports work, right?
Okay, so maybe it’s less “World Cup fever” as it is, say, a World Cup cough, but that still ranks higher than your average “World Cup allergic reaction to pollen” or “World Cup post-nasal drip” (although, on my Big List of Everything Ever, anything that involves the word “nasal” ranks bottom, so…) And, while it’s true that I’ve latched onto what is probably my country’s third most ridiculed sport (right after hockey and the Double Dare obstacle course), the point is, it’s an achievement on any level that I’m actually sitting down to watch a sport that’s not organized into single and double Jeopardies.
And not only that – I’ve been paying attention! I Tivo games! (Who knew that instant-replay button was good for something other than every time Coral falls on her face on The Real World/Road Rules Challenge, which, by the way, will never be often enough.) I make sounds at the TV! (“Ooh!” “Come on!” “Enough with the stupid Gecko, Geico, you’re better than that!” Because, you know…commercials.) You guys, just now? I got mad at a ref! I’ve, I’ve…never felt this way about a referee, before. (Seriously, though, penalty kick, what?) Oh, and last Saturday, I was this close to using the phrase, “One second! The game’s on…” It was, in a word: Exhilarating. And, in 24 words: The closest I’ve felt to being a Regular Guy since that time I didn’t really get How to Lose a Guy In 10 Days.
And…judging by the score of the game, my team needs me, so if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go paint a flag on my chest, drape another one over my shoulders, and run around town screaming blasphemies against Ghana – I’ll run into you, I’m sure. USA! USA! US…eh…
Background Noise: Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day” – yeah, the one that became “the American Idol song,” because time is running out quick, as I reach the end of this, and I’m at least hoping they’ll do a highlight reel with this playing in the background, while all the American players cry in the bottom left corner. Because that's how sports work, right?
posted by Matt at 11:47 AM
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