Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I've Completely Fallen Out Of Practice Regarding This Whole "Title" Thing...

Hey, so, remember when I used to update about things other than how I never update this? And remember when I used to show up with a new AIM away message more than two days a week? All of by which I’m really saying, remember when I used to have time to write things that weren’t “4-5 pages discussing the theme of the grotesque in Lispector’s The Hour Of The Star and one other work from this unit?”

Yes, those really were…the wonder years.

[Cue the opening theme. Hey, look, it’s Corey Matthews’s brother! And Marilyn Manson, in the glasses! Wait, but if the entire family, plus Paul, is in that table shot and dad is cooking, then who’s filming?]

And starting with this here post, I’m going to try to get back there, too, because
there’s something strangely unsettling about not proving that you exist, for this long, like, now I know how a ghost feels, except that I don’t have the ability to walk through walls, or an excuse when people don’t realize I’ve been standing in their presence for the past hour and a half, or the responsibility to set old guys straight on Christmas Eve while everyone else is at home, celebrating with their families. And, wow, a sentence that long would never fly in college.

Speaking of which, you’d be amazed at how moving out to a place whose very intention is to give you something to do that’s not this could throw off your equilibrium for a month or two. And make you self-conscious about your use of semi-colons. And also about pretty much everything else that comes out of your keyboard, to the point where you’re sitting here,
refreshing Facebook over and over when you should be working on a five-page story that’s due tomorrow, thinking, “Remember when I used to think I was good at this, or at least halfway decent at this, or at least halfway decent at composing a sentence that actually featured a subject and a predicate and ended with the correct punctuation mark@”

Yeah, well, thankfully I finally feel like I’m part of a well-balanced life, again, which is good news for both me and for you, the home viewer. Because I know that you’ve been feeling this void in your life, ever since I quit sharing my random opinions on Post-It Notes, or Heroes, or Orbit’s Bubblemint chewing gum or whatever. (Which, in turn: infinitely useful, for more than just “Kick Me” signs; getting better by the week, except for this week, which was not quite as good as the previous two; the best chewing gum in the ever-crowded chewing gum market.) And there ya go: voidless.

Background Noise: Say Hi To Your Mom’s Impeccable Blahs. Not only is it a really good album (“album?”), but it’s a really good vampire-themed album, which…I’m all for finding the dorkiest ways to celebrate each holiday. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a Halloween Buffy Mini-Marathon to get to.